Dear Monsieur Chimpunk

It may perhaps have escaped your notice that you were running into the academic building at the university, instead of out of it. It may also be outside the scope of your cognitive faculties to realize that going UP the stairs will not aid in this predicament. And though the shrill screams of that 80-something professor clad in tweed were not a little entertaining, it would be best for all involved if you’d emerge from under the potted plant, slowly, and direct your path outside, where, I am assured, you will find an abundance of chipmunky friends who will forever slap you on the back and grin when “Irv’s building incident” comes up in conversation. That is all. Best regards.

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