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Things have been quiet (at least since last week) around the blog for a while, and so Evenshine wanders into the always-humbling exercise of Checking The Blog Stats.
I learned early on in this blogging thing that I could either pay assiduous attention to the Numbers, and agonize over my relative insignificance in the world, wondering about the many visitors (or lack thereof) and the reasons they arrived, or…not.
I chose the latter.
Every now and then, however, I have to wonder what people are looking for when they find me. You know you’ve done it. It sheds surprisingly little light into either your writing ability or your attractiveness as a person/blog. But, like waxing and rubbernecking, we do it anyway.
So, then: the latest installment of What The Huh Were You Searching For, That You Arrived Here, in order of popularity:
1. Victoria Beckham hair short/ Kate Walsh hair: Both of these are near the top in % of searchers. Probably due to this post, where I was in desperate need of a haircut. I can guarantee, however, that you did NOT find what you were looking for. And no, that’s not me in the picture.
2. shamrock/ shamrock pics/ sham ROCK: amazing that such a tiny plantlike thingie could create so much traffic. And what is that last term? Are they looking for a fake rock and roll act, a la Spinal Tap, or a stone that looks real but is not, or is this the title for the new Fraggles’ movie?
3. is it normal to have two periods/ low sex drive/ short periods with Paragard/ Paragard pain/ pregnancy Paragard etc.: Look. I’m not your OB/Gyn. Make an appointment and discuss these things with her/him. I have no idea why you can feel the strings, nor can I shed any light on why Paragard is lowering your sex drive. Really. Stop asking.
4. Latino baby/cute baby pics/ ColombianEcuadorianMexicanPanamanian baby/ mixed baby pics etc. Yes, I’ll own it, shamelessly. I’ve got some cute kids. But seriously: is there some discernable difference in cuteness between a Colombian baby and a Mexican one? Were we shopping??? Add to basket…
5. chicken dough depardieu receipt: I am speechless. I sincerely hope you find whatever it was you were looking for, and that it is in no way related to me or my blog. And I only ate the chicken dough that one time.
Did you just get a little uncomfy? Passion is such a loaded word. You can go basically two ways with this one, dredging up ideas of rose petals and Victoria’s Secret, or thinking of having passion, people who live with passion. Things that you’re passionate about.
I’ve noticed lately (through a number of events, though blogging certainly brings things into sharp relief) that people have a generalized admiration of passionate people. We like to say that so-and-so is passionate about such-and-such, or that it’s good to be passionate about something. He’s a really passionate speaker. She’s really passionate about helping people.
The thing is, I don’t think we really mean it.
Passionate people are unpredictable. They’re messy, uncoordinated balls of nervous energy, just buzzing with ideas. Fizzing like bath salts. Throwing things to the wind. Letting inconvenient things hang out. Quite frequently, saying things that we agree with in that general, amiable way- we just can’t catch their fever like they have it. ‘Cause it’s not OURS.
‘Cause we have our own passions.
So look. You probably don’t agree with me on some (or most) things. But how about we try and understand what makes us passionate? We may not necessarily share convictions, or positions, or love affairs with shoes, but we’re both passionate. We share that greatest of human capacities: to love.
As a student of mine quoted to me the other day: A journey of a million miles begins with one step.
And that’s something.
Shall we?
For the first paean to blogging psychosis, try here.
Bloggy problem #4- The give and take. As several people mentioned, blogging is interactive. Without the give and take, the medium doesn’t accomplish one of the primary purposes of blogging, which is to connect with others who have had similar experiences or with whom you find common ground. My problem comes with managing my blogroll. Here’s how it works, at least in my world:
1. You leave me a comment. (OR, I see a comment on a fellow blogger’s site).
2. I check out your site.
3. If it looks non-axe-murderer-ish, and I feel like I can intelligently comment on your topics, then I add you to the blogroll.
4. I read you for a few weeks- the honeymoon, if you will. I comment.
5. If you, during those sweet honeymoon days, comment on something I’ve written on my blog, then I consider you permanent.
6. Until you leave me in the dust.
7. At which time I’ll make a final attempt, commenting on your site.
8. If I receive no reciprocal comments, then I hit “unsubscribe”.
9. And you are history.
This is the modus operandi for friendly blogs, that is, blogs who share a similar mindset. But I’m not so closed-minded as to never check out and/or subscribe to blogs that walk to the beat of a different drummer. And I do have several of those on my blogroll- blogs that inspire me to think, to see things from a different position, and who challenge my worldview (Read: liberal/atheist/or non-mommy blogs).
Which is great, and I think we need more of that. We just might understand the other side better. So here’s how it works for those alterna-blogs.
1. I find you. Almost always. Very rarely do alterna-blogs leave me comments.
2. I comment, usually disagreeing (cause…you know. You’re wrong.)
3. I either get ignored, insulted, or intelligently responded to.
4. If it’s the third of those, congrats! We can now commence the bloglove.
5. Thou art summarily added to ye auld blog list.
What about you? How do you add/delete/manage the blogroll? What’s your psychosis system?
…and it’s called narcissism.
GREAT piece from Newsweek on the Culture of Me that has developed in our proud country. Interesting that it comes on the heels (heels! get it?!) of the Miss USA and Nuestra Belleza Latina pageants.
And I’ve mentioned the the post by Amy about the inherent narcissism of blogging. A recent lively discussion on blogging therapy by my bloggy friend Ink reveals that this manic cyber-underworld we inhabit is rife with manias aplenty. (I know! I know! I’m linking too much! Someone…stop…meeeeee…)
So what’s the deal?
First- Evenshine will never be at risk for narcissistic personality disorder. I’m a Calvinist. You just can’t be narcissistic and be Calvinist. Possibly the same applies to you Catholics out there- both traditions are highly aware of our own needfulness, of our own forgiven-ness. We’re NOT all that, but we know Someone who is. I do, however, struggle with the need to feel appreciated and valued. Maybe that’s why I teach. And blog?
Secondly- the question perambulating around in this insidiously philosophical mind of mine is: could the a-theist leanings of most people (even those who wouldn’t label themselves as such) have anything to do with the wave of nausea- I mean, narcissism- that buffets our society? If there is, really, no God, or no Hell, at least- then why NOT be totally self-involved? It’s how you get ahead, after all…right?
Talk amongst yourselves. I’m going shopping for an “I love ME” shirt.
Hi, my name is Evenshine and I’m a blogger.
(Hi, Evenshine!)
I’m neurotic when it comes to blogging. To a certain extent, it comes with the territory. My lovely blogging friend with the fabulous shoes, Amy at Milk Breath and Margaritas, recently did an insightful post on the inherent narcissism in blogging. Which got me thinking.
Which is always disastrous.
I have a number of bloggy problems. I’ll be posting on them in the next few days, time and my kids willing. Suffice it to say that blogging would be great if everyone thought like me (and why shouldn’t they??). But part of this gorgeous, distorted world is that people seldom react with the precision of robots. Or the emotional maturity of an adult. Including me.
Bloggy problem 1: I won’t leave comments if you have more than, say, ten already. I figure that you’re already feeling the love, and anything I say will likely be a fantasia on a tune already sung. Horribly unnecessary and slightly annoying. Do you really need another “Me too! Me too!”? But the fewer comments you leave, the less people visit your blog. What’s a girl to do?
Bloggy problem 2: I’m much less likely to read it if it’s more than five paragraphs. I know. You’re counting my paragraphs right now. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s lengthy, I’ll skim it, and if it looks earthshatteringly inflammatory, then I’ll go back and read it. I also save posts for later when I’m not raising my children teaching class grading papers busy. But applying this to my own writing? Pshaw.
Bloggy problem 3: If you link, link wisely. Some bloggers I read link every other word, forcing you to follow rabbit holes into the blogosphere. While I might check out where the link goes, I’m usually not willing to click on it unless it’s a link to fabulosity itself. Which is as rare as a one-paragraph blog post.
…and this is only a tiny dip into the well of Evenshine’s blogging neurotics. What about you? What’s your blogging problem?
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