Because it’s just that simple. Really.

On a related note, my 4-year-old, who will be taken by her grandfather to attend the March For Life today, when asked why she was going to march, said (and I quote):

“Because babies have life. Even if they’re not out yet.”

Torn

I am, after all, amphibious, you know. Bifurcated.

At times I’m overwhelmed by the many, varied pulls on That Which Is Me. Mom, wife, sister, daughter, teacher. Comfort, companionship, obedience, leadership. Humans like to have things organized, defined, clear, not to walk in the gray. We make absolute statements to assure ourselves that we’re right. We know the answers: tolerance, diversity, unity.

It doesn’t help, I suppose, that I speak two languages daily, attend two churches, divide my attention between two kids, and teach in two universities. I’m always a stranger in someone’s strange land. Body and spirit, mind and matter.

But therein lies the difficulty.

Inclusion necessitates compromise, this balancing act of passionately believing something while passionately loving people. It’s a balance frequently misunderstood, maligned, and undervalued. Disagreement does not necessitate despising those who hold opposing views, however. Or worse, acting on them.

So in all this Obamachination, (or Obasm if you prefer that one) I have to wonder…what is inclusion going to cost us? To be more specific, how does a President who promises to be inclusive balance the other half of us who don’t hope in…some vague notion of hope? Those of us who hope in something else? Because Obamessiah will  act- even though 45% of Americans voted against him.

I want to like President McDreamy. Really I do. But how does that work exactly when I’m standing on the opposite side of the see-saw?

Built on nothing less

Seconds?

Had this conversation lately? I seem to have had it at least once a day with various and sundry around me. Is it a symptom of my age/social status/cultural group that this is happening? Or is the Big Man upstairs trying to tell me something in his usual whispering/2×4-to-the-head way?

I am so not in the mood for another kid.

The Seconds conversation is the conversation you have with people when they ask any permutation of the lexical items following:

baby + another/other/more/additional + you + soon/ever/again

Examples include the oh-so-classy “So when are you guys having another one?” – this I’d call the Whopper approach. My cholesterol hasn’t returned to post-BK levels, but throw me another one on that tray. Have it YOUR way!Git it on! Seconds, please!

Then there’s the slightly more couth “Are you guys thinking of having any more?” – usually spoken in an undertone, off to one side, but can also be blurted by the usher at church as he hands you the Sunday program. Peace be with you. And don’t forget to procreate.

I’m not sure if it’s the circles I tread, but the urge/pressure to have kids is overwhelming. It’s like a given. You can’t have that much on your plate! Bring another life into the world! As if my memory is faulty, my pocketbook deep, my sanity endless.

Yeah…nope.

And I’m not surrounded by the Quiverfull wackos, either. It’s true that the Catholic church is big on procreation for its own sake, but my parish is less so, and families are rarely over three or four kids. I was raised with three siblings, and know the challenges we had to face, financially and otherwise, of a large family. R has two siblings, and has never wished for more. Our reality is not amenable to another child at this point, but when is it ever? Is it better to do something well or to do it a lot? From a biological standpoint, why do females ovulate for so long? And why are humans so frisky even into the elder years? Why am I still thinking about more kids???

Conflicted much?

The difficulty of diversity

R and I have been talking about St. Adelaide the Righteous’ schooling for this coming year. She’ll be entering Kindergarten, so we’re faced with that age-old and probably over-debated question of public vs. private. I’m not in the mood to discourse eloquently on the topic of public school education, being New Years’ moody and horrifically glued to the news from Gaza. And so we poll.

1. Her private, church-based preschool has a K class, after which we’d still be faced with the same decision. Pros: she knows everyone, we’ve had a positive experience there, we are well known by the administration. Cons: cost (not too bad at around $200 a month), at the end of 2009 we’d still have a decision to make, the student population is fairly white-bread homogeneous.

2. Public. Although the system for our county is one of the best in the state, the particular school to which she’d be assigned is less so. Pros: diversity, continuity in future years, closeness to our house, bus service. Cons: the school has a poverty level of 76% and almost half of the students don’t speak English.

3. Private A: Faith-based school which I attended through HS. Pros: private education, small classes, high parent involvement. Cons: prohibitive pricing (around $1000/month for K, rises from there), the homogeneity that characterizes such institutions, fairly straight-laced philosophy.

4. Private B: Catholic private school fairly close to home. R is Catholic, so this option appeals to him, though he’s wanting the best option for St. A, regardless of where it may be. Pros: small, private, high parent involvement. Cons: lack of diversity, cost- though not as much as Private A, it’s more than Option 1. Potential of hearing nun jokes for the rest of her life (that might be a pro…).

Any thoughts? What are your considerations for your child’s education?

What heaven sounds like

Take ten minutes and listen to this motet by Thomas Tallis. Forty voices, no instruments. The words are below in Latin, and begin with “I have never put my hope in another, God of Israel”. Nice moments at 2:14, 2:33, 4:55, and 7:25.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Spem in alium numquam habui praeter in te

Deus Israel

qui irasceris

et propitius eris

et omnia peccata hominum in tribulatione dimittis

Domine Deus

Creator coeli et terrae

respice humilitatem nostram.