It was just as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Though my family behaved admirably (my brother quashing the urge to break out into “A Mighty Fortress” as he entered the sanctuary), the whole baptism of the chitlins experience was far less transcendent than I had hoped.
The kids were great, I’ll give them that. Both of them were fabulous, smiling at the priest and making cooing noises that melted everyone’s hearts.
But you know you’re in for it when the priest starts listing the major and minor prophets, followed by a homily on how animals will be in the kingdom of heaven, cause, ya know, Jesus loved animals and all, rounded out nicely with a sermonette delivered to the “waitress at the Waffle House” about the difference between priests and pastors. All of us searching in the program for the part of the ceremony entitled “insert freefloating dimentia of priest here”.
Lord, hear our prayer…
And so I will not regale you with the play-by-play. Instead, some pictures. Provecho and bon appetit.