(Scene: a busy banking center, midafternoon. A teller, smelling headily of cigarettes and perfume, nods to the next person waiting in line- Yours truly.*)

Me: Hi. I’d like to deposit this check.

Heady teller: Um…it’s not in your name.

Me: Well, it’s my first name. My husband’s last name. If you look at my account you’ll see he’s on it.

HT:  So you just got married and didn’t take your husband’s name.

Me: Nope.

HT: Why not?

Me: Ummm….can you deposit the check?


Sondra(?): You need to see her marriage certificate.

Me: Seriously?

HT: Yeah. Come back with ya marriage certificate.

Me: OK, thanks.

(About half an hour later. Bearing certificate.)

Me: Hi, again. Here’s my certificate.

HT: So where’s ya husband?

Me: Ummm…in the car with the kids?

HT: (Looking at the certificate) Wendell Peevy.

Me: Huh?

HT: Says here your last name is Peevy.

Me: No, my last name is Smith.

HT: So where’s Wendell?

Me: Who? Oh- that’s the judge’s name. My husband’s is on the top line, next to mine.

HT: Hmm. And you di’int want that name?

Me: No…it’s not that…I just…

HT: Heeer-neeaaahhhn-dizzz.

Me: Huh? It’s Hernandez.

HT: And you di’int like it?

Me: No, it’s not like that…I- can we deposit the check??

HT: Here’s your receipt.

(Yours truly, bewildered, walks in the general direction of the door. Meanwhile-)


Guess not.

*Names have been changed.

This entry was posted in family, immigration, intercultural, language, mixed marriage and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Feminista

  1. incognitomom says:

    gotta love it don’t ya? when I got married I had several people ask why I didn’t hyphenate my maiden and married names. The simple answer was that no one can pronounce either name correctly and I didn’t want to go through life having two butchered last names. It was easier to take the hubby’s name because it was at least shorter to spell. But it struck me as odd that so many people would ask that question.

  2. Your marriage certificate? Are you kidding me? My husband and I deposit checks at the ATM when there’s a problem with the names and we want to avoid confrontation. Try doing that next time. 🙂 I didn’t take his last name, but the bank has never gone so far as to ask for the marriage certificate.

  3. ck says:


    Well, at least you’re not going home with the teller!

  4. antropologa says:

    Hell is other people.

  5. KathyB! says:

    Good grief. I’ve never had that problem, and I go by both my maiden name (for business), and my married name (for the kids’ friends – I got sick of trying to explain myself). Usually, if you’re putting money IN they’ll let you do just about anything.

    Let’s just hope Darwin was right and whatever polluted genes she is carrying around don’t get passed on…

  6. Emily says:

    you must be one of them crazy feminists…

  7. faemom says:

    Ha! I never took my husband’s name either, though NONE of the family recognizes it. They write the checks with his last name. Lucky for me that when I got married I had a friend who was a bank manager, and he added an aka with the husband’s name. Though from my experience most women my age don’t change their names.

  8. yep…still happens….I hyphenated and it’s a pain…I am going back to my maiden name slowly but surely…

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