(Scene: a busy banking center, midafternoon. A teller, smelling headily of cigarettes and perfume, nods to the next person waiting in line- Yours truly.*)
Me: Hi. I’d like to deposit this check.
Heady teller: Um…it’s not in your name.
Me: Well, it’s my first name. My husband’s last name. If you look at my account you’ll see he’s on it.
HT: So you just got married and didn’t take your husband’s name.
HT: Why not?
Me: Ummm….can you deposit the check?
HT: SONDRA??? SHE JUST DONE GOT MARRIED AND AINT CHANGED HER NAME. WHADDA I DO?
Sondra(?): You need to see her marriage certificate.
HT: Yeah. Come back with ya marriage certificate.
Me: OK, thanks.
(About half an hour later. Bearing certificate.)
Me: Hi, again. Here’s my certificate.
HT: So where’s ya husband?
Me: Ummm…in the car with the kids?
HT: (Looking at the certificate) Wendell Peevy.
HT: Says here your last name is Peevy.
Me: No, my last name is Smith.
HT: So where’s Wendell?
Me: Who? Oh- that’s the judge’s name. My husband’s is on the top line, next to mine.
HT: Hmm. And you di’int want that name?
Me: No…it’s not that…I just…
Me: Huh? It’s Hernandez.
HT: And you di’int like it?
Me: No, it’s not like that…I- can we deposit the check??
HT: Here’s your receipt.
(Yours truly, bewildered, walks in the general direction of the door. Meanwhile-)
HT: YOU JUST AINT THAT TRADITIONAL, HUH?
*Names have been changed.