One of the more…um…interesting side effects of living with a Latino is his unusual approach to medicine. It may have something to do with the relative development of South American countries, or it could be something inherent to the Hispanic race, but my media naranja (better half), R, believes chickens will save the world.
You heard me. Chickens.
When we’re sick, a little caldo de pollo will cure all evils. Throw a chicken in a pot, boil until done, and take out the chicken. Drink the chicken juice. Manna from heaven, elixir of the Gods.
Our 10-month-old son is learning to walk. R (and, it should be mentioned, his mama- a whole other blog post, I assure you) is determined to massage his legs with egg white. As far as I know, egg white is only useful if you’re planning on painting some Italian frescoes, making a meringue, or watching your weight. But no, he assures me, it will make the Prophet Isaiah’s legs strong. When asked about how, exactly, the egg white penetrates to the joints, I am answered with the Latino shrug. “No se. Pero funciona“. *
When racked with fever, the answer (of course!) is to rub a raw egg all over the body. If you check the egg afterwards, it will be hard boiled.
I kid you not- the chicken is the answer to the world’s problems.
I’m not sure what to do with all of this. Marital peace dictates some measure of acceptance and support of these cultural oddities, but I still live in terror of coming home one day to find my son drenched in egg whites and my kitchen bearing the signs of ovular chaos.
*I don’t know. But it works.