My role as saucy reporter

President McDreamy! President McDreamy! Over here! Over here!

Yes. Thank you. My question is this: how do you know that if we don’t keep throwing (my) money at these large corporations, that life as we know it will end?

I mean, I know you’re a smarty pants and all, and I’m sure you’ve got some pretty intelligent people around you (atch-yeahrightlikeGeitner-choo!), but what assurances can you give me that the folding of AIG will bring death and destruction to us all?

Uh-huh. So would you say that you’re sure about that? I mean, as sure as you were that bonuses wouldn’t be paid to execs? On a scale of one to ten?

I know about the deficit you inherited- from your own party (ehem). But don’t you think it a little premature to project a halving of that deficit by the end of your first term? I’m no Geitner, but even I know that you can’t reduce your debt by buying more stuff.

Yeah, yeah, infrastructure. Which is great. We can absolutely use better roads and buildings, and I’m sure the watershed authority in my draught-ridden state will be joyfully proclaiming your name. But let’s be honest- how much of that loose change will go directly to infrastructure, and how much of it went to little weekend estates on Martha’s Vineyard?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m SO glad I’m now a stakeholder in several car companies, insurance agencies and banks. Makes me feel like Rockefeller.

So ante up, Mr. President. How does one summon the storm and profess to control the waves?

Pretty sure there was only one person who could do that.

And you’re not him.

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8 Responses to My role as saucy reporter

  1. KathyB! says:

    Thank goodness you’re back! I was jonesing for a snarky, if factual, caricature of Obama.

  2. Ink says:

    “I know about the deficit you inherited- from your own party (ehem).”

    Wait, what? Who handed down the deficit?

  3. Evenshine says:

    Ink- Congress was controlled by the Dems. That’s what I meant.

  4. This is awesome! Much funnier to read than what I posted about this a few days ago which just made people want to jump off a cliff, or at least start stockpiling weapons and growing their own food.

  5. Ink says:

    I see. Thanks for clarifying! 🙂

    Some might argue that the previous presidency might have had a little something to do with it…

  6. evenshine says:

    Amy- your post was part of the inspiration!
    (And I started my fire-escape veggie garden last night).

  7. evenshine says:

    Ink- I agree, and as President, Bush has just as much responsibility. But not MORE, if we still believe in checks and balances. Nice shoe!

  8. Adriana says:

    Oh.My.God. I have not laughed this hard in such a long time. This was great! I don’t know if it was the text, or the tone I gave your voice in my head, but reading this just gets better and better!

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