What’s your blogging problem already, v.2

For the first paean to blogging psychosis, try here.

Bloggy problem #4- The give and take. As several people mentioned, blogging is interactive. Without the give and take, the medium doesn’t accomplish one of the primary purposes of blogging, which is to connect with others who have had similar experiences or with whom you find common ground. My problem comes with managing my blogroll. Here’s how it works, at least in my world:

1. You leave me a comment. (OR, I see a comment on a fellow blogger’s site).

2. I check out your site.

3. If it looks non-axe-murderer-ish, and I feel like I can intelligently comment on your topics, then I add you to the blogroll.

4. I read you for a few weeks- the honeymoon, if you will. I comment.

5. If you, during those sweet honeymoon days, comment on something I’ve written on my blog, then I consider you permanent.

6. Until you leave me in the dust.

7. At which time I’ll make a final attempt, commenting on your site.

8. If I receive no reciprocal comments, then I hit “unsubscribe”.

9. And you are history.

This is the modus operandi for friendly blogs, that is, blogs who share a similar mindset. But I’m not so closed-minded as to never check out and/or subscribe to blogs that walk to the beat of a different drummer. And I do have several of those on my blogroll- blogs that inspire me to think, to see things from a different position, and who challenge my worldview (Read: liberal/atheist/or non-mommy blogs).

Which is great, and I think we need more of that. We just might understand the other side better. So here’s how it works for those alterna-blogs.

1. I find you. Almost always. Very rarely do alterna-blogs leave me comments.

2. I comment, usually disagreeing (cause…you know. You’re wrong.)

3. I either get ignored, insulted, or intelligently responded to.

4. If it’s the third of those, congrats! We can now commence the bloglove.

5. Thou art summarily added to ye auld blog list.

What about you? How do you add/delete/manage the blogroll? What’s your psychosis system?

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20 Responses to What’s your blogging problem already, v.2

  1. KathyB! says:

    I need to update mine. Ever since I discovered the Reading list in blogger my m.o. has completely changed. It (the blog roll) used to be the blogs I followed (or at least some of them). I want to edit it down now to those that I truly love. I use my reading list much the same way you use your blog roll.

  2. This is pretty much what I do with my blogroll too. I like reciprocity in comments and I like to see a new post at least once a week. If I feel like the blogger might have lost interest in updating his/her blog I tend to prune their link from my blogroll. You’re funny with your self analyzing blogging psychosis.

  3. myra36 says:

    My blog roll consists of blogs that I find interesting, informative, touching, and funny. I tend to delete those that haven’t posted in a while. I need fresh ideas and material to peruse.

    I like your system though.

    🙂

  4. insider53 says:

    I don’t really have a criteria other than if you make me think outside my own box or laugh with your sense of humor, I will add you. I don’t care if you reciprocate or not. I’m easy I guess.

  5. SAHM-I-AM says:

    hmmm … Interesting question. I started blogging just this Feb so I’m sure my blogroll philosophy will change. Currently, I treat my blogroll like I do picking out books. If I like your writing style and you consistently have interesting/intelligent/funny/quirky things to say, then you’re there. My blogroll is essentially my nightime daily/weekly reads. I may or may not comment on or receive comments from my blogroll bloggers. I enjoy receiving and giving comments but am not concerned too much if people don’t comment on my posts. I’ve had to abandon unfinished comments or partial readings many times because I’ve been called away by my crying babes and so I know that silence is not necessarily a reflection of what others think about your posts.

  6. antropologa says:

    Oh, only people I enjoy reading are on my blog list. Doesn’t have too much to do with comments from me or to me.

  7. ck says:

    on a semi-unrelated topic…

    i wish i had the guts to say some of the things you do. such as everything pertaining to your disagreement-like comments, “(cause…you know. You’re wrong.)”

    i enjoy that about your writing.

  8. Court says:

    Wow, how very well thought out. I think I’m a little more haphazard with mine. Plus I tend to blog in spurts, what with my work schedule I have one really good day for blogging so I blitz everyone and catch up on all my beloved blogs. Usually about once a month I scroll through my list and update it I guess.

  9. incognitomom says:

    I’m finding that I have several blogs on my roll that I no longer really read. I try to give my family and friends a place on the roll. It’s probably time for me to go through my list and do some editing or fine tuning. The one list that is long is my Philly Mom Bloggers because it’s a group I physically belong to and whether or not I read some of them or they read me I feel it’s a courtesy for me to help them promote their blog.

    As for reciprocating. I would love to comment more quickly to the comments I receive and offer more comments on the blogs I read but sadly time doesn’t always allow me that luxury. Also, I’ve been using my iPod Touch to catch up on a lot of my favorite blogs while I am trying to fall asleep or early in the morning but typing can be a slow process on that thing so I don’t always make the effort.

    But I do know what you mean … I tend to pay more attention to those that I form a relationship with. And after all isn’t the whole point of blogging because we want to form those relationships.

  10. tlc says:

    There are blogs I love so much I wish they could be my ringtone. I would comment on them even if they never reciprocated. Then there are blogs that I only comment on out of courtesy. Like you, if those bloggers were to cease commenting on my blog, I would delete them.

    I use google reader to keep up with my favorite blogs. I had recently added you to my blogroll, and thought that I also added you to my reader. I just realized the other day that I must have forgotten, and I missed a few of your posts. Sorry ’bout that. You’re on there now!

    btw, I think you would enjoy a blog called Parchment and Pen. If you don’t already read it, you can check it out at:
    http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/

  11. Gibby says:

    I pretty much use the same system, although much of my blogroll is in my head. The one that is actually published on my side bar is a little out of date, now that I look at it. Also, I never really thought a lot about the blog roll, but I just found out that some of my lurkers have found blogs that they love using my blogroll.

    I guess I should go update it, huh?

    Question: do you only read blogs that comment? I have fallen into this habit but there are so many blogs that I truly love that I know would never comment on mine. Ah, if only I had more time to read everyone that I enjoyed…

  12. If I find myself skipping more posts than I read, I delete the blog from my reader. If you are my friend in real life, I keep you in my reader, even if you only post once every six months. If your posts really start to get on my nerves, you’re out. If you comment on my blog, I definitely keep you around, even if I don’t agree with you, because we can have a civil discussion and because I don’t have enough readers to go offending one by not reciprocating. BUT if my real life is crazy and my blog commenting is taking the place of, let’s say, parenting, I take a break and figure a few lost readers that I don’t know in real life are worth happy kids.

  13. faemom says:

    For my public blog roll, I have people I’ve been reading for a while and really like and want everyone to read them. Then I have the one on WordPress dashboard, the one that won’t let you delete anyone. That I picked up blogs that I read occasionally. But now I have so many I love to read every day, that I never get to find new ones. I’m thinking of picking certain days. Half on even days, the other half on odd. Thank God you all don’t write every day like I do or I would be buried.

  14. evenshine says:

    2square- I do that, too. If I find that I’m not reading a particular blog’s posts, or have lost interest, I delete it.

  15. evenshine says:

    fae- I find bloglines is helpful for this. It’s all in one place, and I can save them for later and add/delete blogs easily.

  16. Adriana says:

    I use OWL for my feeds, though for personal blogs such as yours I prefer to visit directly. First I add blogs that somehow are similar to mine. Then if someone with a blog comments, I go check it out. If I like you – meaning if you are not a nutcase and can tie reasonable arguments together – I add you to the blogroll.

    If I think you’ve fallen from the deep end – meaning drinking Kool Aid from either side – I won’t visit anymore and won’t add you to the blogroll.

    It takes some major catastrophe for me to drop you from the blogroll. As a PhD student I pretty much set a day a week to visit blogs I like; in defect I try to visit at least once a month and leave comments on posts i like best.

    I like commenting, and I like people to comment on mine – but it’s not like I have control over that.

  17. Karen says:

    I know that I have more blogs in my google reader than in my official blog roll. I tend to read a blog for a while before I give the “official” thumbs up. Like one of the previous commenters said, if you haven’t posted in a few months I will probably delete you from the blog roll (but still keep an eye on you to see if you resume posting).

  18. Karen says:

    btw now I am checking to make sure that I have added you to my blogroll! 😉

  19. I’m usually drawn to bloggers who share at least some of my views on life, politics, raising good honest future citizens, etc. but I do read some just because I enjoy their writing and humor. It IS good to get the other side, but sometimes they are so hopelessly wrong that even their good writing won’t keep me coming back.
    I bookmark blogs I’ve just started reading until I’m sure I’m keeping them. I don’t like to delete anybody unless they quit writing.

  20. syzygus says:

    I love the fact that you’ve got Dylan’s version of “Girl Of The North Country” with Johnny on your VodPod sidebar. He has the Nashville Skyline era vocals working, the genuine star-struck nervousness playing next to Cash, and it’s one of his best songs. That alone ensures your permanent spot even more than it already was.

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