Cutie Patootie

In case you haven’t been watching the fireworks down in Miami, a popular relationship guru cum Roman Catholic priest, Father Cutie (no, I’m not making this up) was photographed on the beach, smooching what he has admitted is the love of his life. Next to that other love, that is- the one he’s been married to for some time (the Church).

[Insert rant about celibacy, the Catholic church, and Oprah here, if desired].

He says that it’s a struggle for him between his love of the church, and his love for this woman. He’s considering leaving the Church to be married. He doesn’t want to be the poster boy for celibacy (I think you blew that one, Cutie), but that the church’s stand on celibacy isn’t going to change, especially not just for him.

You can say what you want about the Church’s position on celibacy (pedophelia, homosexuality), and I can’t help but admire Cutie for taking honorable, careful steps to ensure that he’s not playing for both teams.

My problem is this: he’s about two years too late. He and his girlfriend have been romantically involved for that period of time, having been friends for even longer. Without the collar it would almost be idyllic. BUT…

Is being unfaithful only wrong if you’re caught?

Hard to say what would have happened if some enterprising photographer hadn’t realized who the guy in the baseball cap was. Would Father Cutie have come forward, or resigned his post, if the faithful remained clueless? Doubtful.

I can’t help but think of that Coke commercial. Ladies, enjoy.

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14 Responses to Cutie Patootie

  1. OMG I’ve never seen that commercial! Will I go to hell for thinking it’s pretty funny?

    We had a young (late 20s) super cute priest for a while (“Father Whatawaste”) and he was a jogger. He would jog this route around Vanderbilt University. My friend and fellow parishioner and social worker at Vandy came to realize that all the ladies on her floor were going at a certain time each day to a bank of windows to watch this cutie patootie jog by in his running shorts and tank/running top. She wandered over and looked down and watched Fr. Jim run past. Then she announced with a straight face to the group (who were making “comments”) that the young man was her priest and they were all going straight to hell.

    It totally freaked them out! She said the reaction, once they believed her, was hysterical and a few of them were really worried for their eternal souls.

  2. David says:

    I pray for the priest. If he’s torn between marriage to God and marriage to a woman, I would say that he should quit his vows (even though they are permanent). He can find other ways to serve the Lord. I wish our seminary programs were more rigorous to avoid these kinds of scandals. I wish that they were more rigorous to avoid the other kinds you mentioned, too, evenshine.
    Amy, it’s a shame that people can look at a priest and call him that. Why is it a waste to give the best to God, even if the best, to us, is outward appearance? There is nothing wrong with admiring physical beauty, I’m guilty of seeing beauty in nuns, and secular women, but to say it’s a waste means that God doesn’t deserve “the best”.

    At any rate Fr. Cutie was ‘defrocked’ by his bishop, and I’m sure there will be a discernment process regarding where his vocation really lies-in marriage to a woman or marriage to the Church.

  3. KathyB! says:

    This just breaks my heart. I hate the mentality that rules only apply when they suit your desires. When they don’t? Strictly optional. The rules are what they are. If you don’t agree and don’t want to be bound by them it’s surely your perogative, but don’t bind yourself to them and then ignore them.

    I think he’s made it fairly clear where his vocation lies. And it’s not in marriage to the church.

  4. David says:

    KathyB, yes, rules are rules. Vows are vows. And covenants are covenants. When we marry a person, most people don’t understand that God creates a bond (to use my phrase to my wife last night) that stronger than superglue. It’s permanent. Love is not an emotion, it’s a decision. If you commit to that kind of love, it’s permanent. I feel the same way when a pro athlete signs a contract, then goes back on it. But marriage, and also priestly vows, are more than a contract, they are a covenental bond…I don’t know, and won’t judge, how he gets out of this one…but he’s already broken his vow. I did this too, but have recommitted to my vows. My other choice was to leave it broken. I’m still waiting on my wife’s decision…4 years later.

  5. SAHM I AM says:

    “Is being unfaithful only wrong if you’re caught?”

    Hmmm … your blogs always make me think, Evenshine. Before I read the above, I have to admit that I was feeling a little sorry for Fr Cutie but you’ve set me straight. A priest’s commitment to his church or God is no less binding than a husband’s commitment to his wife. Fr Cutie knew what the ‘rules’ were when he signed up. If it was a story about a man being caught with his mistress, I would have had a few unkindly thoughts about him. This scenario should be no different.

  6. antropologa says:

    I think cutting oneself off from love and sex is pretty sad and unhealthy, so I’m glad this particular person went ahead and did what was right for him as a person. However, I think it would have been way better if he had gotten himself out of his contract or however you want to think of it before breaking it.

  7. David says:

    Antropologa,
    Love and sex are not the same thing. Just because you don’t have an individual to love or have sex with doesn’t cut you off from love. What you’re speaking of is erotic love, but there are much deeper kinds of love than that. A priest gives himself in agape love to God through his Church. Agape love is what couples are called to give each other in marriage, the same as a priest is to give to his church. In marriage, agape has, as a subset, eros. When you take priestly vows, you give your whole self to God and the Church. These people are to be honored and prayed for, as they are consecrated to God, set apart for His use.

    It’s a hard concept to understand, one it took me many years to understand about both marriage and priests…

  8. faemom says:

    I think he should have come clean much, much sooner. I do know that priests can be released from their vows for certain reasons, falling in love is one of them. The only reason I think that priests remain celebant is because they have so many duties that having a family would make it harder. But if we could lighten the load or more men were willing to enter the priesthood if allowed to be married, I don’t think it would be wrong. It seems very one-sided to have male priests and no female counterparts.
    But back to your post. I feel for him, but he should have done the right thing, he knew he was doing the wrong thing. He should have left his position or lost his love. It sucks, but those are the rules right now. Great post.

  9. insider53 says:

    A priest makes a commitment of his body and soul to God and church. If he breaks that commitment there should be consequences. He cheated for 2 years and only chose the woman when he was forced to. Frankly the woman should have a little more backbone and pride. How much could he really love her if he kept her hidden.

    David,
    Love is a gift from God and this priest fornicated his little heart out for 2 years and there is no way I will honor that or the pedophiles that exist in the church. God would not ask a mom to do that and if you think he would you are on crack.

    Sorry evenshine didn’t mean to get on the soapbox

  10. insider53 says:

    Oh I liked the video so much I copied it and put it on my facebook

  11. David says:

    Insider, when you can show me a pedophile priest in the Church today, I will be right there with you. Regarding this particular priest, I didn’t say to honor his sins. But God calls us to love the man, and to love all men. Separate the sin from the sinner. Love the man, hate the sin. God does expect us to love everybody. He said so. The two greatest commandments-Love God, and love your neighbor. Like He does.

  12. insider53 says:

    David, move over to my blog and we can battle this out in emails instead of acting like two children evenshine has to monitor. She has enough to do. I notice you left out the word woman which I find so telling. If this was a nun who had broken her vows you wouldn’t be defending her. If you want names of priestly pedophiles I can give them to you, it’s not hard they are all over the news. There are Ten commandments by the way listed in no particular order of importance. The catholic church has a hierarchy of sins and they are not all forgiven by church or God. Not my church, not my rules, but they are this priest rules and he broke them knowingly and remorselessly for 2 count them 2 years and now has the arrogance to expect no backlash.

  13. Gibby says:

    I’ve never seen that commercial, either. Love it.

    I am torn on this one. I think I have voiced my frustrations with the Catholic church on this blog before. I do think the priest is wrong for breaking his vows, just as a spouse would be wrong for breaking his/her marriage vow. But this priest is only human, and I think that all humans need or want that bond of love and companionship. Is that so wrong? Does it make him less devoted to God? I’m not sure.

    As for pedophile priests, this is another sore subject within our community as currently we have a priest from our church who is serving jail time for molesting a student. So yes, it does happen, and yes, it happens here.

  14. Pingback: Black or white « Evenshine’s Weblog

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