Now you are five

You sleep like a broken stork.

Toothpaste, hurriedly mashed between the spaces in your teeth, dries in the corners of your huge smile. Sometimes your school pictures show it.

When I vacuum, you pretend that I’ll somehow be able to suck up your shoes, your big black teddy bear, your tricycle.

You take turns but I watch the frustration grow when they don’t play by the rules.

You insist on burping in my face, despite my insistance that it’s not ladylike.

Nothing compares to the anguish of your cries when you’re hurt. They squeeze at my heart and make me short of breath.

But now you are five, and I have to let you go a little more each day. I have to bite my lip instead of shouting “Watch out!”, and bite it again instead of saying, “I told you so…”

Now you are five, and I will let you do your own hair.

I’ll let you eat ice cream (with sprinkles) and not freak out about the clothes you’re wearing.

I won’t supervise. At least, not from two feet away.

Now you are five, but even so, when you grab onto me as I wake you in the morning, I will carry you to the breakfast table, your hands tangled in my hair, your breath smelling like dried toothpaste, and I will wait until you open your eyes and mumble, “Good morning, Mama”.

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7 Responses to Now you are five

  1. Eva says:

    I can’t believe I missed another of your kids’ birthdays!

  2. faemom says:

    That was beasutiful! I hope she had a wonderful birthday!

  3. myra36 says:

    So sweet and beautiful.

  4. insider53 says:

    They grow up too fast, make her slow down.

  5. incognitomom says:

    Simply beautiful. Thanks for letting us into your mommy and child moments that make it all so special.

  6. My eyes are watered……beautiful… I have a 7 year old that STILL wraps my hair around her hands when she is sleepy…

  7. Gibby says:

    Oh, five is so hard! My “baby” is five and what a paradox of a girl growing up and a baby staying little. At times I will see her and think, wow, she’s so old, but other times I will glance at her and still see the babyness in her cheeks. Just for a moment.

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