Reading…and more on the adoption

We are, thanks everyone, going ahead with adoption plans. Like a good academe, I am researching my way through the whole thing. Maybe I’ll get a PhD out of it. HA.

R and I are set on Ethiopia or Colombia (since R is a native Colombiano). Why Ethiopia? Good question. It has a lot to do with HIV/AIDS in sub-saharan Africa, a little to do with the movie Hotel Rwanda, and nothing at all to do with the recent horror flick, Orphan.

Can I have more biological babies? Yes. My history has proven that I am emphatically fertile. But adoption is something that has been on our hearts and minds for some time, and we’ve both felt that strong, swift hand guiding us Ethiopia-wards.

Yes, we’d be raising a black baby. Or babies. More on that later.

Colombia is a way to be less obvious, of course. A Colombian baby would look like R’s. People would assume by default that he/she was mine, as well. We may go ahead with it, but the process is a lengthy average of 4 years. And since when have we been ruled by what others think of us? Life is too short. The only real concern for me is: can I be a good parent to a minority child? And, how is this done- well?  

And so we read.

there is no me

Melissa Fay Greene’s “There is No Me Without You” is a must-read, even if you’ve never thought about adoption. She’s brutal and moving and heartbreaking, and she’ll open your eyes to the reality of the AIDS crisis in Africa, all while keeping you riveted (dinner burning, kids running wild).

Does Anybody Else Look Like Me? A parent’s guide to raising multiracial children, by Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a treatise on biracial and multiracial children and the (sometimes bewildered and unprepared) parents who attempt to equip them to live in a highly race-conscious country.  Not as entertaining as Greene, but highly useful and accessible.

jaiya john

Black Baby, White Hands: A View from the crib by Jaiya John is lyrical, like jazz or a great 20-minute Grateful Dead jam. Thoughful and honest, difficult and uncomfortable, he chronicles his adoption into a white family in a largely-white small town in Texas in the 70s.

Another helpful resource I finished this week was I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-conscious world by Marguerite A. Wright. Taking as her starting point that young children, in making what seem like racial statements, intend them in not at all the same manner as the history-bearing, race-conscious way that adults do, she gives parents a way to deal with common challenges when raising children in a race-infused society.


And the last, and one of my favorites so far, is Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches by Russell D. Moore. Moore, a pastor and adoptive father, makes a convincing (and convicting) case that Christian families, by virtue of their own adoption into the family of Christ, should be frontrunners in the journey to find families for children who need them. The story of his own two sons, adopted from Russia, is heartbreaking, and he balances good theology with good practical help (one chapter is entitled “Paperwork, Finances, and other Threats to Personal Sanctification”, which had me chuckling.

So yes. On our way. I’ll post soon about some of the issues that have been raised as we’ve entered the process, though I don’t want this to become an “adoption blog”. Don’t worry. I’ll still snark about Obama, as frequently as he is snarkable. 😉 

Meanwhile…your thoughts?

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11 Responses to Reading…and more on the adoption

  1. Another blog I read, Kerry at A Ten O’Clock Scholar, is by a woman who just adopted a little girl from Ghana. Just in case you want to check it out. She has a password protected blog that has more about the adoption. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you. The link is on my sidebar. Russell Moore is great! We will probably be adopting once we are in Asia, so I may look into some of these books. Looking forward to hearing more about it.

  2. OH…my heart just melted….. I have so wanted to adopt a child or two my entire life. I am a single mama now and it still tugs at my heart. I am so looking forward to your adoption story.

  3. Ink says:

    This is very exciting news, Evenshine! Good luck with the process — and I, for one, would love to hear about it (if one’s life becomes adoption-focused, so too can the blog)! Wishing you all the very best.

  4. amy2boys says:

    Congratulations! If I was in my 30s I would press for this. It’s so exciting!! Do you read Conversion Diary? She’s done a 3-part interview with a couple adopting HIV/AIDS + children . It’s a wonderful and inspiring read!

  5. antropologa says:

    Wow, best wishes! Tell us about the process!

  6. KathyB! says:

    I would be disappointed if you didn’t share as much as you were comfortable with on your blog. This adoption will define you as much as your Obama snarkiness.

    What an exciting time for you and R! Congratulations!!

  7. romancingthestone says:

    Great ideas. I truly appreciate your experience. Best of luck to you.

  8. myra36 says:

    What wonderful news! All the best on your journey.

  9. insider53 says:

    I am so happy you are moving forward with this. This is the best news.

  10. faemom says:

    I’m just shocked that Orphan had no impact on you. Think of your own children!

    Amazing. I hope you tell us all about your journey towards getting your next child. Good luck

  11. ck says:

    Please keep blogging about this. I’d love to know anything about the process that you’re willing to share.

    And I really admire you guys. Congratulations on the beginning of something so exciting!

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