Dear Sir at Starbucks

The look in the Barista’s eyes at the customer behind me was almost too much for me.

“Venti nonfat vanilla latte no whip extra foam 4 Equals 130 degrees with a splash stick.”

Seriously, sir?

So what you basically want, besides something as extremely sweet and lacking in any discernible nutritional value, is a glass of really hot, saccharine milk???

Tell me, Mr. Starbucks- what happens when the Barista doesn’t get all the way to 130? Is 125 OK with you, Mr. Power Suit?  Do you realize that the confident in-charge image you project with your pinstripes is totally and utterly obliterated by your Elton John coffee? That you are officially more of a girl than I am, with your degree-specific libation teeming with hot…air?

And a splash stick????

Thank you, Mr. Four Packets of Equal. Today, with my grande coffee of the day (leave room for cream), you have made me feel more of a man than I ever have felt.

This entry was posted in language and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Dear Sir at Starbucks

  1. ck says:

    hahahahahahahaha! You didn’t tell me you were coming to Arlington today, Evenshine. We must’ve just missed each other because I’m pretty sure that guy was still on his blackberry in front of the store when I got there…

  2. insider53 says:

    Yeah I also hate when men order pina coladas too. There is just something so wrong about a guy ordering fru-fru drinks. Just old fashioned I guess.

  3. antropologa says:

    Glad to hear you are settling in. 🙂

  4. incognitomom says:

    thank you for that … I can’t stop giggling thinking about Mr. Powersuit with his girly coffee. I guess I must be the toughest man of all with my black coffee (no cream or sugar for me thanks. I’ll expect chest hairs to sprout any day now.

  5. Glad says:

    wow too funny and ridiculous at the same time…

  6. faemom says:

    LOL How sissy. Welcome to the metro-sexual world. John Wayne is rolling in his grave.

  7. KathyB! says:

    This is hilarious and all but I need to get out more… I didn’t even know what a splash stick was — had to follow your generous link 🙂

    My first thought was a pregnancy test designed to keep pee from getting on your hand, but it didn’t really mesh with the whole Stabucks-thing so I had to investigate.

  8. Evenshine says:

    KB!- Bwaa-hahaha….IN A STARBUCKS??? The way your fabulous mind works…;)

  9. amy2boys says:

    Elton John coffee! HAHAHAHAHA. Love that. This is hilarious.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s