Here’s how it works, guys.

Go ahead and string the lights. I don’t want to have to deal with untangling the mobius strip that our Christmas lights have become, unexplainably, carefully packed in the box for the past year. While you’re at it, it would be fine if you dug through the ornaments of yesteryear to extract, wrap, and toss the ones that have molded, shattered, or grown a fifth leg.

You may as well go ahead and unwrap the tinsel, too. It looks like a muppet gone bad and I don’t even want to think about the things growing in it. No, I don’t know where more hooks are. No, you can’t use twist-ties. And no, the angel shouldn’t be that color.

I’m pretty sure the wrapping paper isn’t salvageable. Anything with that many rips, wrinkles and bite marks (?!) shouldn’t be used to spread Christmas cheer. And no, tape that you have to untangle isn’t the best option for a professional-looking gift experience. Go ahead and wear the tree skirt. It looks lovely with your pudding-stained sweater.

And put that candy cane down. Food with fur is to be avoided whenever possible.

Ahhhhh, Christmas.

This entry was posted in children, family, motherhood and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Christmania

  1. Ink says:

    Well…good luck over there! I hope you find some mold-free, fur-free decorations in another box. 🙂

  2. You have to EARN that Christmas cheer every time, huh?! 🙂

  3. faemom says:

    Sounds like fun. I think I can put that off for another week, right?

  4. LOL. ‘Tis the season!

  5. amy2boys says:

    tinsel that looks like a muppet gone bad — that is hilarious.

  6. Gibby says:

    Who says Christmas has to be picture perfect?!

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