Dear School,

Just a quick note to tell you how much of an ethical dilemma you really are.

You’re cute, that’s for sure. Your little blue awnings, your ambiance of 1950s parochial school nirvana. You’re probably worth the thousands of dollars I’m paying you to educate my kindergardener.

You may have noticed I’m sitting this latest Whatever-a-thon out.

No, I’m not trying to break up with you.

I really enjoyed the Girl Scout Cookie drive- love me some Samoas. The Wrapping Paper Fest was fun, since I have an oft-overlooked penchant for lovely paper. I didn’t even mind the Spirit Wear-a-thon. I’m sure I’ll get lots of mileage out of the tie-dyed sleeveless wifebeater with the school logo on it.

But then came the Grocery Food Fest.

And the Lunch With Santa, for which I was asked to provide cookies even though we weren’t going.

And the order form to pay for an out-of-uniform-day to support Haiti. Kindergarden doesn’t even wear uniforms.

And the Jump-a-thon.

And the Just-Send-Us-Your-Money-And-Don’t-Ask-Why Signup Sheet.

Ok, maybe I made that last one up.

 These things are probably crucial, I suppose, to raising funds for whatever project the soccer moms have planned for a select group of students, somewhere. And Haiti? Sure I think it’s important to support people in the aftermath of a tragedy.

But you are eating my mind. Or, more specifically, draining me of my lifeblood. I’m a mom and work full time just to put food on the table and clothes on the back of my non-uniformed cutie. Sure, I’d like to be able to “give my time” instead of my cash, come be with the kids, read to them and help them with art projects, but I just can’t.

So, thanks but no thanks. I have enough mommy guilt without adding financial disasater to my list of issues.

Don’t worry.

It’s not me. It’s you.

Have a Samoa.

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8 Responses to Dear School,

  1. sierramadre says:

    I LOVE it!..I can relate…visions of Sally Foster still whirling in my cache of grudges… Hang in there, Mama. 🙂

  2. ck says:

    NO KIDDING. My daughter’s preschool is the same way. And they all know I’m one of THOSE moms. You know, the ones who pay tuition on time, drop their kids off at school and then leave. I don’t do fundraisers, or dinners or cake donating. Is that wrong? Doesn’t paying tuition, activity fees and helping out with class parties count for something?

  3. OH my… I SO remember these days and yes, I also could not participate in everything…and by the second baby…I was fine with them not making me feel incredibly guilty….
    You go girl…

  4. les says:

    Ugh. It’s endless, isn’t it? Especially with the private/parochial schools–like the massive tuition isn’t already sucking you dry. Plus you’re no doubt already paying taxes to support the public school. This is one reason I sent my kids to public school–and guess what? They have the same ridiculous fund raisers, and after a while, we just quit participating.

  5. WorkingMom says:

    SOOOooo on the same page! The costs of Oldest being in the CHORUS of a middle school play this weekend is fast approaching $100 out of MY pocket. So much for a “free” public education. And I don’t like Gilbert & Sullivan anyway.

  6. I am so with you on this. Our latest? Jump Rope for Heart. No, I’m not donating. So tired of donating…

  7. faemom says:

    You’re scaring me. Because you just reminded me it’s going to get worse, a whole lot worse than the four things my son’s preschool does. Of course, I felt perfectly reasonable saying no to the casserole drive. Because they’re evil.
    Good luck. Maybe you should start soliciting your bloggie friends.

  8. Gibby says:

    Oh man, I am so with you on this. My girls go to public school and the fundraisers still break us. But here is another kicker…on top of asking me for my money? My time. For all of you SAHMs out there: never, EVER let them know you just MIGHT have some time. Because once they find that out, you are stalked. Phoned. Emailed. Chased down in the parking lot. Helping out with the book fair apparently is just not enough. Newsflash: not all SAHMs want to be one of “those” moms. Leave me alone.

    (Was that too bitter?)

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