Ode to Tickers

In my recent new education in the world of fertility, I’ve come upon the most entertaining aspect (well, maybe not the MOST entertaining aspect) of the whole thing. Ready for it?

Ticker Factory.

I always thought those women who sign their names with tickers of their childrens’ ages, or their due dates, or their menstrual cycles (TMI!!! TMI!!!) were going a bit overboard.

And then, I was lured into the abyss:

Oh yes, that butterfly will creep ever forward into the patch of flowers, as my precious girl (not real name, not real date, chill already) creeps into- gasp- is that…the teenage years?????? Stay, little butterfly! Stay!!

LOOK AT THE CUTE SNAIL!!! Tee hee hee hee…..

And so I whiled away the afternoon, and thought of increasingly inappropriate uses for the Ticker Factory.

Yes, my friends. We have thousands of random childrens’ books. With scribbles. Why the bunny? Cause I swear they multiply at night.

See the cute turtle? Yeah, that’s me. Since my exercise habits are nonexistent less than perfect, I have a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Turtle ain’t goin’ nowhere. Watch out for the truck, little turtle!

And, if you read my latest post, this will make a lot more sense…

Ok, Ok, I’ll stop. Just one more! Last but not least:

Yes, that’s me, slouching toward a nonexistent future vacation, old, fat, and hunchbacked. That plane’s taking off without me, people. Walk into the light, Evenshine, walk into the light…

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6 Responses to Ode to Tickers

  1. I always hated those things, but yours make me laugh! (Oh, and I really, really, really don’t need to know anyone’s cycle but my own, thanks.)

  2. Jane says:

    I always thought these were silly, too…until I figured out how to use them. Then suddenly – I was having way too much fun!

  3. faemom says:

    LOL I always wondered how people got them and what they did with them. Sometimes they seemed too perky, until I read your post. Thanks.

  4. amy2boys says:

    This is so funny! (Ah, the school fundraiser. We have a freezer chock full of cookie dough. It’ll last until the fall when we buy more.)

  5. That secret cult of tickers totally creeps me out…I love the book version. And the vaction ticker…that’s equal parts hilarious and depressing, Evenshine. With fairy sparkles of your cycle and my stress incontinence.

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